Tit 0 Tat, Enlighten Us

It’s been a while since I have been thinking to write about tech stack. Sadly, it’s very difficult for me to sit down and write. The underlying fact is that 80% of my office hours is spent warming the chair that’s why I have developed an immense hatred for my chair at home.

But a few days back, I fell ill., Lying in the bed all day. hundreds of a bullish ideas started running through my head. I was thinking about how I can make my team perform, how can I lift their technical skills up. So many questions.

And then the bull (ideas) consolidated. They organised a knockout that has only one rule fight or die. With a gunshot, they ran madly towards each other banging their head, plucking other with their pointed greyish white horn. The bull fight made me see stars or fireflies twinkling in my room. I was getting crazy either due to illness or the ideas were up to something

Ah! What am I seeing. My eyes were stuck as I was dumbstruck at the sudden increased luminance of fireflies. The mesmerizing sparkles increased alarmingly and the fireflies then abruptly shattered into millions of pieces. As and when I was trying to get hold of my senses, the pieces started forming random shapes, converging into a metahuman form. Sudden darkness absorbed all the brightness of the pieces and two tiny creatures fell on my bed.

One of them was dressed from top to bottom in a red suit with shining white shirt, well groomed hair, clean shaven and a head larger than the entire body. His specs were resting on his elephant like ears and trapezium nose. He was wearing an ID card named Mr Tit.

The second guy seemed to be a cool dude; wearing navy blue modern art print T-shirt with light shaded blue baggy jeans.. Nicely groomed spikes with a glimmering pointed top with the aid of wax.

“Hi! Mr Agarwal, I am Tat” he shouted.

Fear struck me, heart pulsating at 100 miles/ hr, I rose and moved to the corner of the bed. ‘WTF’ I shouted in stammering tone.

They were approaching closer and closer with a grin face and rubbing their chins as if they are going to eat me up. “Hey! They are just tiny little creatures, what worse can they do?” I consoled myself. Soon, a wave of relief shimmered past my face.

They shouted “Mr Agarwal, don’t be scared We are here to help you prepare course material for your team, long pending”

Course?? Material?? Which course. I don’t know? I bustled

“We know everything and we also know the topics that we will be covering,” they said and giggled.

It took me a few minutes to come back to my senses and make sense of what they had been blabbering this long.

“Both of you will be teaching whichever topic, I say?” I inquired with a puzzled look on my face.

They nodded in yes.

I stared at them and fireworks started bursting in my head. I was dancing as if I won a million dollars. I suppressed my emotions and said “why only my team? Why not teach everyone out there?”

They again nodded in Yes.

I was left open-mouth. Engrossed in my deep thoughts “why the hell are they willing to help, what’s in it for them?” And how can these tiny creatures propose to teach. That too infront of me. How dare they? I envied them, if they can, why can’t I?

Egomaniacal Agarwal was taking control of me. Altruistic version of me popped out to pacify me. It was not too late when Egomaniacal challenged Altruistic Agarwal. Now, duel was between altruistic and egomaniacal Agarwal, I was playing the role of a mere spectator. Both armed with flaming cross sectional cut, very finely engraved sword, and with the whistle, both marched forward circling around each other and Altruistic Agarwal swiftly bounced like a lion on Egomaniacal, slaying him with a single strike.

“What a strike“ I cheered. Deep down in my heart even I wished for Altruistic Agarwal’s Victory.

Then, I leaned toward Mr Tit and Mr Tat with a beaming smile to scare the shit out of them ;)

“Let’s brainstorm on tech stack” I said.

We nodded in YES. That’s the favorite part we all enjoy, nodding our heads in a yes.

And we all went into a very long and serious discussion. We somehow concluded that they will be covering basic concepts of the tech stack where most people fumble and they would teach in a way so that even a layman can understand.

In our course of discussion, I realized they are techies, full of enthusiasm, humor, aware of many technologies. Their knowledge and style of teaching would help wider audience brush up their basic concepts which somehow gets covered with dust.

They will be covering the following tech

• Html
• CSS
• Javascript
• SASS
• React
• Node
• Mongo
• Elastic Search

They have made a Reddish blue promise of publishing an article weekly.

If anyone wants Mr Tit and Mr Tat to cover any specific topic or technology. Let them know in the comments.

Let’s hail. Tit 0 Tat, Enlighten Us

Note: Special Thanks to Ayush Jain for Proofreading.